By Steve A. Hamilton

Introduction:  It’s a practice that is far too common.  Nearly 60% of all marriages in the United States end in Divorce.  It’s a practice that will easily jeopardize one’s soul.  It is so prevalent in our society, that I feel I must at least discuss the marriage relationship with each person who desires to be a child of God especially if that person has been divorced.

Divorce and remarriage is an emotional topic.  Our human passion to marry is strong.  I Cor. 7:9 states, “but if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”  The word “burn’ here refers to this emotional passion of opposite sexes to be together.  If you want to know how emotional this topic is, try telling someone they have no right to marry someone they physically love.  You will witness emotion!

So I ask you to put your emotions aside as best you can for the purposes of this study.  Let’s approach this topic with the willingness to learn what God instructs concerning divorce and remarriage.  Let’s not make decisions from our emotions.

I.  Matthew 19:3-12.

          A.  First and foremost, we learn that God hates divorce.

                   1.  Vs. 5-6: “let not man separate.”  The type of separation God is referring to here is divorce.  From the Greek word chõrizõ which means “to put apart, separate, divide.”  Don’t let man divide those God has joined!

                   2.  Mal. 2:14-17: God hates divorce.  In fact, He equates divorce with violence, treachery and evil!  Read verse 17 again.  Could it be said we weary the Lord by our divorces?  Because we call evil (divorce) a good thing!  Think about it.

                   3.  Vs. 8: “because of the hardness of your hearts... but from the beginning it was not so.”  Hardness of heart means a “dulled spiritual perception; unbelief.”  If Moses allowed divorce because of their lack of belief, what does that say about us when we allow it today?  Do we lack a proper amount of spirituality when we permit divorce today? 

          B.  There is but one acceptable cause given for a divorce. 

                   1.  This cause is also stated in Matthew 5:31-32.  That cause is sexual immorality.  This certainly includes adultery.  What about a pedophile, sodomy, bestiality and homosexuality.  Our nation is becoming far more perverted.  Where we would never imagine a Christian participating in one of these sins, I know of one Christian who broke his marriage vows by having sex with a minor.

                   2.  God’s marriage law was intended to be a life long commitment (Rom. 7:2-3).  According to God’s law, a marriage ends when one spouse dies (1 Cor. 7:39).  God certainly would not approve of 60% of the population getting a divorce!

          C.  Those who divorce for reasons other than for sexual immorality and remarry are committing adultery (vs. 9).  That includes the person who was put away and anyone who marries that person.  They are all adulterers in God’s sight (1 Cor.6:9-10)! 

          D.  Its not easy accepting a life of celibacy for the sake of your soul (vs. 10-12). 

                   1.  The disciples reasoned that it is better not to marry in the first place.

                   2.  Many will not accept this and will lose an eternal home because they would rather live for themselves then for the Lord.                   

II.  1 Cor. 7:10-11.

          A.  We are commanded not to depart from our spouses. 

                   1.  The word “depart” means to separate.  It’s the same Greek word as used in Matt. 19:6 when it says: “let not man put asunder.”  In context, both of these passages are dealing with God’s laws concerning divorce.  See the next verse (12). 

                   2.  We see the same emphasis in this passage as in Matt. 19, against divorce.

          B.  Despite this command, divorce still happens. 

                   1.  If a person finds himself divorced despite this command, he has two options:  remain single or get back with his spouse.  Otherwise, if this person gets married, he commits adultery.

                   2.  This passage is not recognition of divorce for any cause.  It’s obvious that the person in verse 11 had to break the command given in verse 10 in order to be in a divorced condition.

III. Some misapplications concerning divorce.

          A.  Some teach that baptism washes away the sin of divorce including the former relationship if the person was baptized after the divorce occurred.  This is false! 

                    1. Baptism washes away sin (Acts 22:16, Acts 2:38).  Simple put, the original marriage was not a sin.  It is true that the sins involved in the divorce are forgiven, but the marriage relationship remains. 

                    2. However, if a person refuses to repent of an unscriptural divorce at baptism by putting the adulterous relationship away, baptism won't wash away any sins!

          B.  Some believe that while divorced, if the spouse marries, they are free to remarry.  This is sometimes referred to as the waiting game.  This is false!  Read Matthew 19:9 again.  The cause for the divorce in the first place must be sexual immorality.  If not, the two options in I Cor. 7:11 are the only appropriate courses of action.

          C.  Some are now teaching that a person can get a divorce if the marriage was not consummated.  This is false. 

                   1.  Marriage is a contract.  This marriage does not contain any contingencies for nonperformance.  Mal. 2:14 says, “She is your companion and your wife by covenant.” 

                   2.  A marriage was not recognized when Dinah was raped by Shechem (Gen. 34:5-8) nor when Judah discovered he slept with Tamar (Gen. 38:24-26).  Again, the only exception given for obtaining a divorce is sexual immorality.

                   3.  There is nothing evil about sex in a marriage relationship (1 Cor. 7:2-6).  In fact, sex is encouraged and should not be withheld from one’s spouse.  If anything, the admission that the marriage was not consummated is an admission of sin.        

Conclusion:  I recognize I did not address every possible situation.  I believe the guidance given in this lesson will cover most situations.  If you feel you need further guidance in your situation I’d be glad to study with you in private.

          There are other related topics that everyone should consider when considering divorce and remarriage such as our marriage vows and weather to remarry a Christian. 

          Personally, my wife and I have already decided we will not get a divorce.  But if one came, I will not remarry.  I would not wish to risk my salvation.  I’d prefer to be as Paul and remain unmarried.

Last modified: 05/02/08